Women keeping their maiden name

[Cristen Wyght]

I don't think it is a big deal for woman to either keep their maiden name or change theirs into a married name. It is just a matter of choice that every woman should be dealing with.

[PeggyHefferon]

Of course it is ridiculous to have a law requiring a name change, but I was happy to take my husband's name.

[krystal098]

I don't understand why only women need to change their last name. I have seen many men who have a concern regarding this. They need their wife to change her last name. I don't think it's compulsory. Women can decide on this. I believe everyone has the right to say 'yes' or 'no'.

[cooliemae]

My wife kept her last name because like others have mentioned she has established herself with her name and she likes it. Why would I care, I married her, not her name. I think the more interested conversation for those couples that keep their last names, are the conversation that happens with the children's names.

I was adamant from the start that if we had a son that he would have my last name. Perhaps it's a little 'old school thinking', but I was the last male in my family going back three generations and my family has been very traditional with regard to taking their husbands' names. So I wanted to make sure that the family's surname continued.

[PeggyHefferon]

I find this disturbing. "Half of American Adults Think It Should Be Illegal for Married Women to Keep Their Last Names"


http://www.msn.com/en-us/lifestyle/f...Pcp?li=BBnb7Kz

Wow. Thanks for sharing this. I never realized it was a big deal for so many people. It should be an individual decision.

[Like2Plan]

My wife kept her last name because like others have mentioned she has established herself with her name and she likes it. Why would I care, I married her, not her name. I think the more interested conversation for those couples that keep their last names, are the conversation that happens with the children's names.

I was adamant from the start that if we had a son that he would have my last name. Perhaps it's a little 'old school thinking', but I was the last male in my family going back three generations and my family has been very traditional with regard to taking their husbands' names. So I wanted to make sure that the family's surname continued.

That aspect wasn't a big deal to me--afterall, I was using my father's name. I assumed that our child would take his father's name and that is how it worked out. (I also let DH take the lead on picking his first and middle name )
Funny thing with names, though. Through my genealogy research I found that my name had evolved from a more french sounding name about 3 generations prior.

[Petunia 100]

I changed my name because I liked it better, lol. But kept it when I got divorced because the kids were little and I wanted us to have the same name. Now I regret that so much. I have to go to court to change it back and all the zillions of places I'd have to notify is mind boggling. I'm sticking with it for now but down the road when I feel ready to tackle that challenge, I'll change.

That's where I am now. I'm ready to go back to my maiden name, but it's going to be a gigantic pain.

[GrimJack]

When my sister got divorced, she actually went back to the original family name with an 'Mc' in front of it.

Try doing family research in Spain; married people carry both last names but her family lists her last name first and his family lists his last name first. You have to know whose records you are reading to know how to find people. Then there are the Scandinavians whose last names are some version of the parents' first name with 'son or 'daughter appended.

In Denmark, your name has to be Danish - one guy wanted to change his name to Harley Davidson but the courts would only allow Harley Davidsen. In Poland the 'sky/'ski suffix depended purely on whether or not the country was Catholic or Protestant at the time (I believe that suffix had to do with 'hero of the realm' or something while every one else had to make do with being named after their home town.

[bennkar]

That makes sense. If your last name was "Smith" for the first 25 or 30 years of your life, there are a lot of people who know you by that name. If I was searching Facebook for someone I went to high school or college with, I'd be searching by maiden name. My wife has both her maiden name and married name on her profile.

Its a good thing my current GF did that. Otherwise we wouldn't have been happily together for the last six years.

[GrimJack]

I have a family member who never went and got her name legally changed, and now they can get more food stamps by not having to claim her husband as part of her household since they don't have the same last name.

I think it is better in general for the couple to share the last name.

People commit fraud whether or not they change last names - at least you have family who is benefiting from your tax dollars.

[GrimJack]

I answer phones for a living and I get all sorts of couples; I am very formal on the phone and use honorifics when I can - I often fall back on Mz. when the married couple do not share last names (and are women), when it is 2 men Mr. works fine. The miss, mrs., mz tricotomy is a hangover from the the old days; at least we do not have to memorize which nouns are feminine and which are masculine (and who decides which is which when new words are added?).

**edit**
Historical research in Spanish countries is complicated by the fact that a person carries both mother's and father's last name and depending on who is referring to them either last name can be first. Example: my mother's family name is Old and my father's is Man so my mother's family would refer to me as Grumpy Old Man whereas my father's family would refer to me as Grumpy Man Old. Russian is worse - a person can have 12 first names because how you are called is dependent on what the caller's relationship is to you. I tried to read a direct translation of Dr. Zhivago and lost track of everyone - I think I was only 2 pages in when I knew I was out of my depth.

[LeannMerletta]

When I was in high school, we had a male substitute teacher that took his wife's last name when they got married. This was in the mid 90's, and everyone found it a bit odd. Especially us narrow minded teenagers. But, still to this day I've never run into another man that has taken his wife's name. It was unique to say the least.

It's cool but could it be legal? I just wonder...

[msomnipotent]

If a guy can legally change his name to Tyrannosaurus Rex, I'm sure he can take his wife's name. Yes, Google it.

[FLA]

My brother just celebrated his first anniversary. I totally forgot that she didn't take his name and didn't remember until I had written Mr and Mrs on the envelope of the card. So I put both first names and hyphenated the last names and wrote SORRY in huge letters on the other side, lol.

I'm slightly sad she didn't take my brother's name because he is the last male to have our last name in the family. He was the last chance to carry on our name. But if they have a healthy kid, who really cares what he/she is named?

[disneysteve]

I'm slightly sad she didn't take my brother's name because he is the last male to have our last name in the family. He was the last chance to carry on our name.

Just because she didn't change her name doesn't mean their children won't have his surname. Hopefully, that's something they have discussed. I know couples where the kids have the father's name, others that have the mother's name, and still others who have a blended last name.

Where it gets weird/awkward, is when the kids have the father's name and then the couple gets divorced. The mother is stuck with a kid whose last name is that of her ex who she may not have a good relationship with. Then they have to decide if they want to legally change the kid's last name. Just gets messy.