Buying engagement ring!!

[Falcor7]

Greetings,

I hope this message finds you all well. Thank you for taking the time to read my post, I really value your input and feedback.

I am 33 years old and officially in the market for an engagement ring to propose to my girlfriend. I currently have about $345,000 in liquid savings saved up. However I am also currently unemployed. I took a six-month very much needed hiatus from work to go travel. I am currently not sure if I want to go back to the same profession that I've been in for the last 15 years. While I made decent money, it was unfulfilling and depressing profession.

My question is: I would like to buy a nice 2 carat diamond engagement ring, for my girlfriend, but I want to know if I can afford it?. My girlfriend is a little bit bigger, taller, and has long fingers. That being said she's always maintained that a bigger rock would look better on her fingers. While I know that may sound trivial and materialistic, she is the farthest thing from that. At the end of the day I love her very much and I want to give her the beautiful ring she's always dreamed of. While I cannot afford to buy a flawless or even near flawless diamond, there are diamonds out there that exist, that are relatively feasible for my budget. Of course I know marriage is not about the ring it is about truelove. That is not the issue, it's just whether I should spend this amount of money, with what I currently have liquid, yet without having a current job.

We don't have a rent payment at the moment nor do I have a car payment. We are staying with family until we find a new place, because we have been traveling. So other than health insurance and a few other minor things such as cell phones I don't really have any monthly overhead. The ring I found is $18,000. It was originally 22,000 but I talked the guy down to 18,000. While I know that is way more than the average American consumer spends on an engagement ring, I feel like with my savings of $345,000 and the fact that I don't have any debt, I can afford this. However I would like to hear from you all, and hear your expert opinion on this. Am i crazy for spending $18,000, without having a job currently.? I value all of your feedback, thank you so much again.

[rennigade]

$18k for a 2 carat isnt out of the question. Its in the ballpark of what you have to pay for a ring. I know some people who used bluenile to buy diamonds/rings...they're usually cheaper from them.

You can afford it. If you feel like spending that much go for it. As long as you have a healthy 8 month emergency fund after you buy the ring its all good.


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[bjl584]

I wouldn't drop $18,000 on a ring that your gf will only wear for a few months or years. Seams like a waste. To each their own though. If you think that you can afford it, then go for it. But, I certainly wouldn't spend that much on a piece of metal with a rock in the middle of it even if I had a billion dollars.

[Eagle]

$18k for a 2 carat isnt out of the question. Its in the ballpark of what you have to pay for a ring. I know some people who used bluenile to buy diamonds/rings...they're usually cheaper from them.

You can afford it. If you feel like spending that much go for it. As long as you have a healthy 8 month emergency fund after you buy the ring its all good.


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Please explain "in the ballpark of what you have to pay for a ring..." An engagement ring can cost anywhere from a few hundred to 5 figures depending on the person. I don't think it's wise for someone who is unemployed to spend that kind of money.

If a woman loves the man proposing I don't think you have to spend that kind of money for her to be happy.

I wouldn't drop $18,000 on a ring that your gf will only wear for a few months or years. Seams like a waste. To each their own though. If you think that you can afford it, then go for it. But, I certainly wouldn't spend that much on a piece of metal with a rock in the middle of it even if I had a billion dollars.

I spent a little over 2k on my wife's ring. Since we knew the jewler all I had to pay for was the diamond. She wears it all the time. I agree though I wouldn't spend 18k on a ring.

[rennigade]

Please explain "in the ballpark of what you have to pay for a ring..."

Sure...for a 2 carat higher quality ring you're going to be looking around the $18k mark. I was referencing the 2 carat ring...not all rings in general. Poor choice of words on my part.

I didnt spend near that much...I think the ring I bought was 3/4 carat that cost around $4600, which to me is still expensive and I could afford to have spent more but I chose not to.

[feh]

I wouldn't drop $18,000 on a ring that your gf will only wear for a few months or years. Seams like a waste.

+1

This is a personal decision. For some reason it always hits a nerve with me; I find the need/desire to spend so much on a piece of jewelry agitating. The diamond industry has obviously done an excellent job of marketing.

What matters is your relationship, not the size/cost of an engagement ring.

[breathemusic]

I wouldn't drop $18,000 on a ring that your gf will only wear for a few months or years. Seams like a waste. To each their own though. If you think that you can afford it, then go for it. But, I certainly wouldn't spend that much on a piece of metal with a rock in the middle of it even if I had a billion dollars.

Can't say I really understand why the ring would only be worn for a short time. Many people don't "upgrade" their rings over time, so I say if you can afford it and want to drop $18k on a ring that you plan to be the only engagement ring you'll ever buy, then go for it. Many people here wouldn't do that, but it's a personal choice and what I hear you saying is that as long as you can afford to do it, what you want to do is give your girl the ring of her dreams, which I think is wonderful. Jewelry or not, it makes her happy. I'm the same way, I'm not generally a materialistic person, and could care less about most jewelry, except an engagement ring (not just size, but style, type of band, etc.). To know that my future husband would put the thought into my engagement ring and know what I like and wanted and do what he could (i.e. if he could afford it) to make that come true would mean a lot to me. I say go for it. Just don't forget to make sure you have jewelry covered under your insurance.

[phantom]

Whether or not you can afford to spend $18,000 really depends on how quickly you're burning through that $345,000 pile of cash and what other needs you have for the money. Since you say you're staying with family temporarily, I would assume that a big chunk of that money is going to go into a house at some point. You should also think about how much of that money might need to go towards education for a new career. It would be a shame to find yourself struggling to afford the house of your girlfriend's dreams because you'd gone overboard on her ring. But, if you really don't have any pressing needs for the money, I think you can afford to spend $18,000 on something that you really want, like this ring.

Personally, if I was worried about a diamond smaller than 2 carats looking to small on my hands, I would consider something with multiple diamonds before I'd go for one giant diamond. It would be much less expensive to get something 2 carat total weight than one giant 2 carat solitaire. But, you know your girlfriend's tastes better than I do.

[Permanent Temp]

What kind of diamond is it(cut, color clarity)? What will the setting be like? Does she want designer with a ton of other diamonds, milligram or just a plain band. Platinum, gold or something else? Make sure you know she really really likes this ring before you drop all this money on it?

Do you think she would be okay with you dropping this much money especially at this time or would she feel guilty? Are you going to wear wedding bands? What kind of band does she want? Also what is the budget for the wedding? I think you need to sit down and talk all this out.

[ua_guy]

I love it when people with substantial assets and the potential for high income comment that their line of work is unfulfilling and depressing and that they might not want to do it anymore.

Cry me a river.

The possibilities one could do with $345k, let alone any retirement or other assets that may accompany that, are virtually endless, buying a rock is just a single one of them. It's all in how you choose to live your life, and none of us are here to tell you how to do that. "Affordability" is an asinine question in this scenario. There, I said it.

[ktmarvels]

She says she prefers larger diamond, but has she tried them on? Sometimes the settings on larger rings are so tall they get stuck on everything. Does she have a cut she'd prefer? If you don't personally want to take her ring shopping, drop hints to one of her close girlfriends to go to a jewler. You may be suprised what she actually picks!

I'd also like to echo the multiple diamond vs single diamond sentiment. We spent about 4K on my ring, and I had a 3 diamond engagement band and a 5 diamond wedding band. Lots of bling, but not as expensive.

[Bob B.]

I love it when people with substantial assets and the potential for high income comment that their line of work is unfulfilling and depressing and that they might not want to do it anymore.

Cry me a river.

The possibilities one could do with $345k, let alone any retirement or other assets that may accompany that, are virtually endless, buying a rock is just a single one of them. It's all in how you choose to live your life, and none of us are here to tell you how to do that. "Affordability" is an asinine question in this scenario. There, I said it.

What he said.

Of course you can afford the ring. That's 5.2% of your liquid assets.

[autoxer]

The tradition of giving a diamond ring for engagement is a fairly recent phenomenon, due to a very successful marketing campaign by De Beers. I'm all for traditions, but if the only purpose of the tradition is to help the diamond industry, then it isn't one that we need to continue to propagate. Buy her something nice, but don't spend so much that you have to question it.

[HappySaver]

If you were in your mid-twenties, I'd be more inclined to say "go for it". But since you're not..

I don't feel there's quite enough information here.
What are your future career plans? How much will you be earning? Do you expect to find work soon? Will you be going back to school? And most importantly, are you planning to buy a house soon and how much do you expect that to cost? Also, don't forget that weddings themselves can get crazy expensive.
And one last thing - do you have anything in retirement plans? By now, you should have something.

All that said, whether it's smart to spend the money or not, I don't think it's excessive to take just over 5% of your savings to pay for this ring. As long as you're comfortable also paying for the insurance on the ring. Which you absolutely need to have.

[rigz]

That being said she's always maintained that a bigger rock would look better on her fingers.

what girl has ever said otherwise?