Splitting expenses between friends

[cschin4]

That's a pretty depressing view of friendship. I've shared a vacation home with friends before and we all had a great time. Now there are people who I wouldn't do that with but as long as you know which friends would work in that kind of setting, it is a lot nicer than being in a hotel.

Why is it "depressing". I travel and eat out with friends. We get our own tabs. It is no big deal.

[disneysteve]

MY advice is to try and keep everything separate. Pay your own bills. Get your own room. Get your own dining bill and so forth. Anyone who objects to that is planning to glom off you anyway.

Why is it "depressing". I travel and eat out with friends. We get our own tabs. It is no big deal.

The bolded part was what I was referring to. The assumption that just because folks suggested splitting things equally meant they intended to take advantage of you.

I have no problem with doing separate bills in a restaurant, though we rarely do. But the OP gave a specific example of renting a van with a group of people and others brought up the issue of renting a vacation home together. Separate bills aren't an option in those cases. The expenses need to be split in some fair and equitable manner.

[Frugal]

Usually, at a dinner, or lunch, etc. at a restaurant, the group just breaks up the check and each individual pays their portion, whether they are single or not. It seems to work best.

[photo]

I'm in agreement on the hotel rooms, since they're always charged per room and not per person.

That has not been true on most of my travel in Europe. Two people sharing a room are not charged the same as one person per room. I've also encountered that situation in US hotels, as well, especially if breakfast is included in the price.

[disneysteve]

I've also encountered that situation in US hotels, as well, especially if breakfast is included in the price.

I've never been to Europe but I've never encountered a difference in the US. I have seen a 3rd or 4th person charges, hence the "kids stay free" promotions, but 1 or 2 people has never made a difference.

[Like2Plan]

That's a pretty depressing view of friendship. I've shared a vacation home with friends before and we all had a great time. Now there are people who I wouldn't do that with but as long as you know which friends would work in that kind of setting, it is a lot nicer than being in a hotel.

I was thinking the same thing in terms of going out to dinner. We don't have one system with everyone-it is situational and it depends on what is mutually acceptable. Some friends just like to keep everything separate and others are comfortable with taking turns picking up the check. DH likes to pick up the check--so he will always wrestle for it if that is the practice with that particular group of friends.

[Gary Barzel]

I've never been to Europe but I've never encountered a difference in the US. I have seen a 3rd or 4th person charges, hence the "kids stay free" promotions, but 1 or 2 people has never made a difference.

If the room is a "double occupancy" rate room, then per night whether one or two people stay there it will be the same rate. Anything more then that will usually end up costing more.

[BuckyBadger]

I agree with those who said it is situational. When we go out with our friends who are still in grad school, we either pay the whole tab or each pay separately, as they are usually eating frugally. When we're going out with a group of like-minded and salaried people we usually split it equally between everyone. When we're with my brother in law the big spender who likes to order bottles of nice wine like they're going out of style, he pays for everyone because it's what he likes to do.

[disneysteve]

We don't have one system with everyone-it is situational and it depends on what is mutually acceptable.

Agreed. We belong to a dining group at our synagogue. With them, it is strictly separate checks. In fact, we won't even go to a restaurant that refuses to provide separate checks (we ask when making the reservation).

With some friends who we go out with fairly regularly, we may take turns picking up the full bill. With other people, we'll get one check and all kick in our share. And with still others, we'll just split it 50/50. It all depends on the situation.

Of course, none of this is relevant to the topic of this post which was about travel expenses like sharing a vacation home or rental car.

[Like2Plan]

Of course, none of this is relevant to the topic of this post which was about travel expenses like sharing a vacation home or rental car.

Oh, I thought the topic was splitting expenses among friends in general. The same idea would apply--it would be situational and have to be mutually acceptable.

[MaryB26]

In your example if six people are riding in the van then the cost should be divided by 6.
If the couple wants to be counted as one then you should renege and not go with them.
Everyone should pay their own way and no one should be obligated to pay for someone else.
(I have over 40 years life experience and was single for over half of those years so I have been in many situations where I ended up paying (covering the cost) for someone else. Live and learn.) Don't be a doormat.

[disneysteve]

In your example if six people are riding in the van then the cost should be divided by 6.
If the couple wants to be counted as one then you should renege and not go with them.

I agree with you, but how about if 6 people are renting a vacation home? Two bedrooms are occupied by couples. Two bedrooms are occupied by singles. Does each bedroom get charged 1/4 of the total cost since there are 4 bedrooms or does each individual get charged 1/6 of the total cost since there are 6 people?

I'm of the opinion that the charge should be per person.

[cschin4]

My point is that it shouldn't be offensive to anyone if i decide i want to get my own check, bill or whatever. I prefer to do it that way. That way, i feel that i can order whatever i want, as much as i want , etc. If i want to order filet mignon wrapped with lobster and dessert, coffee, drinks, and appetitizers, then i can. And, if traveling, if i want to get a luxury hotel room versus someone else or vice versa, i can.
As for sharing a rental house, i would think you would pay Per Bedroom, not per person. If splitting a 4 BR condo, each bedroom should be split by 1/4 whether a couple or single.

[BuckyBadger]

I'm of the opinion that the charge should be per person.

I agree. The resources of the house (time spent in kitchen, bathroom, common areas) are being used by 6 people. Couples share space because they are couples. I didn't marry my husband to save money on vacation rentals.

If I were in this hypothetical situation, I would plan on my husband and myself paying 2/6 ths of the total price of the vacation rental.

[MaryB26]

I agree with you, but how about if 6 people are renting a vacation home? Two bedrooms are occupied by couples. Two bedrooms are occupied by singles. Does each bedroom get charged 1/4 of the total cost since there are 4 bedrooms or does each individual get charged 1/6 of the total cost since there are 6 people?

I'm of the opinion that the charge should be per person.

Hi Steve,
The same applies to a vacation rental.
If 6 people rent a vacation home and there are 2 couples and 2 singles the cost of the rental should be divided by 6. Even if the couples share a room each person is still using the entire rental home (kitchen, bathroom, pool, other amenities, etc).

It would not be fair to the single people to foot the cost for the couple. IMHO