How to get a frugal person to spend more?

[disneysteve]

My mother is 87. As a result of a recent car accident, she is currently (and hopefully permanently) no longer driving for the first time in 70 years. We are doing our best to support her and understand what a huge loss of freedom that represents to her.

One thing that we need to work on with her is changing her mindset about some "frugal" habits that she's always had. For example, she used the shuttle bus from her apartment building for the first time yesterday to go to the supermarket. She actually said it was very convenient because she didn't need to carry her bags herself and got dropped off right at the door rather than having to walk from the parking lot.

I was out with her today for some other errands and she asked if I could stop at Aldi's because she needed a gallon of milk. Why didn't she get it at the supermarket yesterday? It's a few cents cheaper at Aldi's. She would normally go to Aldi's for certain items, Walmart for certain items, ShopRite for certain items, etc. She probably burned as much in gas as she saved by doing that but in her mind, it was cheaper.

We are happy to take her to a store when she needs something but we certainly don't want to be taking her to 3 different stores just so she can save $1 or $2. She's not poor. She's not living in poverty. In fact, giving up the car is going to save her a couple hundred dollars each month between insurance, gas, maintenance, registration, etc. If she spends an extra $20/month on groceries, she's still way ahead.

Have any of you dealt with a similar situation? How have you approached it?

[Singuy]

I don't think you can get anyone to spend more on any items you think is worth a lot more attention.

I'll never spend 5k on a purse, or 500 on shoes. But the person trying to convince me to spend that much will never pay 1k for a lightsaber or 250 for a glorified doll.

My parents still dilute their dawn dish soap. They have no problem dropping 400k cash on a 3800 squareft house or 40k on a Jag but they will have a problem if someone forgets to turn off the ceiling fan.

People just have different spending priorities. There are people who lives like a monk and saves every penny..but most will spend more on things they feel is more important.

[Butterscotch]

She may be in the habit of going to different places for different things because it gives her something to do each day. And going to different places changes the scenery. Sometimes older people feel more purposeful if they have something to do/get each day. It provides a feeling of accomplishment.

If you take her shopping on a Saturday and she gets everything she needs in one trip does she have activities to fill up the rest of the week?

Her habits may be more about keeping active than saving money, even if she doesn’t realize it.

[disneysteve]

She may be in the habit of going to different places for different things because it gives her something to do each day.

That's a very good point, and we have thought about that. And it isn't just because she's older now. She has always been that way. She has always liked going places and doing things (that's where I get it from). She's never been a one-stop-shopper sort of person. She enjoys the hunt.

Fortunately, my wife doesn't work so hopefully they can get on some sort of routine where they go out at least once a week to do something or go somewhere she likes to go, have lunch, etc. I'm also hoping that she'll get a bit more involved in some of the activities in her building - like the weekly supermarket trip she went on yesterday.

[msomnipotent]

One of my sisters would drive miles out of her way to buy gas a few cents per gallon cheaper. It drove my mother nuts for some reason and no amount of talking to her helped. I showed her the math and it still didn't matter. It was something she liked to do. She probably still does it. I think your mom will start to realize that she would rather pay a few cents more if she starts running out, or just decide she would rather wait for one of you to take her.

[bjl584]

My dad does the same thing.
Luckily he is still self-sufficient, so I don't have to deal with it directly.

It is annoying however when trying to complete a project with him, and he will put everything on hold because some item that we need will be $5 less next week.

[Thrif-t]

Ha! I got a kick out of reading this thread as this sounds like me! Oh no my poor kids in 30 years

[snafu]

Would mom try the new experience of ordering items online from W/Mart? Often slightly cheaper, possibly mailed or delivered? If DM likes the shuttle bus experience, would she be interested in creating a small group to go to W/Mart or preferred outlet 1st Friday of each month with others driving or shared uber? Interest easily established with a note on complex's notice board or 'flyer' in the elevator.