Do you know how much credit card debt your spouse has?

[Snydley]

This is to complement the other thread about income. I can say off hand that three of my closest friends have no idea how much credit card debt their husband's have..but they know they have some (so they number is not zero). It seems to me that none of these couples talk about money because it's like poking the bear. They just leave it alone.

How can you not know what kind of cc debt your significant other is carrying?

[scfr]

For me there's the easy answer and then there's the more analytical answer.

The easy answer is "he has essentially no credit card debt" because we pay off our balances every month.

But the more analytical answer is "I don't know exactly but I could find out if I wanted to know." DH pursues airline and hotel rewards by opening credit cards for business use. He closes the cards before he has to pay an annual fee, and pays the balances off each month (pays no interest). I don't ask about these cards because I don't feel any need to know. I just stand back and let him do his thing and reap the benefits of the rewards in the form of free hotel stays or occasional free air travel.

I'm the one who pursues new bank account and cash-back personal cc rewards, discount gift cards, etc. In that area, he just stands back and lets me do MY thing.

I agree completely that I could not imagine being married to someone who carried a balance if I didn't know the amount, or if I didn't know that I could ask him any time what the current balance on any of his reward cards was and trust that he would give me an honest answer.

[MonkeyMama]

This is an easy question. Neither of us has ever carried a balance on a credit card. & I can't foresee a scenario where we ever would.

To add to that, absolutely all of our credit cards are owned jointly. So that removes any mystery from the equation. (I suppose usually there is a primary card owner but then we are authorized users on all of each other's cards. We just treat them as "joint" even if that's technically not really a thing).

People like to bury their head in the sand and/or they feel like they don't have any other options. IT sounds like a horrible way to live though.

[Like2Plan]

Yes. I pay the bills. We pay in full when the bill closes. We both use the same CC in order to maximize awards.

[disneysteve]

We don't carry a balance on our credit cards. They are all paid in full every single month without fail.

[scfr]

I wonder if the question is really "Do you know how much of a balance your spouse is carrying over on their credit cards?" In that case the answer is YES, and the amount is zero.

I see the balance accrued in the current month as "debt" even if it is paid off when the statement arrives and nothing is carried over.

[disneysteve]

I could not imagine being married to someone who carried a balance if I didn't know the amount

I'd go even farther and say I couldn't imagine being married to someone who carried a balance at all - period.

I see the balance accrued in the current month as "debt" even if it is paid off when the statement arrives and nothing is carried over.

That's an interesting semantic question. Not really a right or wrong answer. Personally, I don't think of what gets charged to the CC as debt any more than I think of the phone bill or cable bill or utility bill as debt. In all of those cases, we incur the expense first and pay the bill later. I only think of debt as money that's been borrowed to be paid back over time.

[MonkeyMama]

I wonder if the question is really "Do you know how much of a balance your spouse is carrying over on their credit cards?" In that case the answer is YES, and the amount is zero.

I see the balance accrued in the current month as "debt" even if it is paid off when the statement arrives and nothing is carried over.

I think this is just getting into semantics. We are both very involved in our finances and so we have a good idea of credit card balances. We know what we are spending and are both very cognizant of living well below our means. You have to be if you consistently never carry a balance. So the actual balance in between I think is kind of moot, though in our case we are pretty aware.

[feh]

If we had any CC debt, it would be "ours" and not "his/hers".

We both know about all accounts and spending.

[disneysteve]

If we had any CC debt, it would be "ours" and not "his/hers".

Exactly. There would never be such as thing as "her" debt or "my" debt. We're married. We're in this together.

[Nutria]

How can you not know what kind of cc debt your significant other is carrying?

Simple: people have been deceiving loved ones since the beginning of "loved ones". Two that spring quickly to mind are gambling problems and mistresses.

Another is that the SO just might not *want* to know. Ignorance is, after all, safe and comforting for a *lot* of people.

[Drake3287]

I have a friend who after he was married (25 years ago) his wife told him about her $10,000 credit card debt. He should have known at that point he was in for trouble, some people never learn.

[Nutria]

I have a friend who after he was married (25 years ago) his wife told him about her $10,000 credit card debt. He should have known at that point he was in for trouble, some people never learn.

You don't say whether or not they (supposedly) honestly discussed finances before marriage.

[Drake3287]

I think when you owe $10,000. (in 1990 dollars) in credit cards, it shouldn't have to be formally brought up. A little common sense goes a long way.

[Nutria]

I think when you owe $10,000. (in 1990 dollars) in credit cards, it shouldn't have to be formally brought up.

That's where the deceit comes in.

A little common sense goes a long way.

You're assuming that sense is common. Especially when it involves young love.