Should I use my retirement fund to help my ageing parents?

[david987]

Is anyone else dealing with the financial cost of aging parents?

My parents are getting to the age where they may need to go into care facilities. The problem is that they don't have the money to afford these facilities. I do have the money, but it's in my retirement accounts. My dilemma is do I rate my own retirement accounts to make sure my parents (who spent a lot of money raising me and giving me a great childhood) are well taken care of as they grow older?

Is anyone else facing this issue, and have you come up with a solution to it? I don't really want to raid my retirement fund because I'll need that for my retirement, but at the same time I want to make sure my parents get the care they need as they grow older. What are my options?

[rennigade]

Follow your heart.

[feh]

Perhaps you should talk to your state or local social services representative.

[SavingSteve]

I am assuming your parents have no long term care insurance?

Perhaps if they meet the financial requirements medicaid.gov may help? Have you looked into that?

[cooliemae]

I've spent some time over the past year looking at various options because my MIL has moved in with us and we are trying to get everything in order.

It really comes down to how much they have in assets. I would suggest you consult an elder law attorney that specializes in asset protection. You need to make sure that their assets are protected an in the correct way from medicaid, which would be the agency that pays for nursing home.

Making sure that your parents have funeral trusts set-up is a must and I would suggest that you read this article How a Promissory Note can Protect assets.

The process for protecting assets is complicated so an attorney is definitely worth the cost.

[Retired To Win]

... My dilemma is do I raid my own retirement accounts to make sure my parents (who spent a lot of money raising me and giving me a great childhood) are well taken care of as they grow older?... I don't really want to raid my retirement fund because I'll need that for my retirement, but at the same time I want to make sure my parents get the care they need as they grow older...

First of all, will your decision affect only you or do you have your own wife and family to consider?

Second, are you still young enough to be able to regain the financial ground you would lose before you yourself start getting too long in the tooth?

Finally, please do research all your options -- including bringing in your parents into your home and arranging for their care there -- before depleting your retirement accounts and, basically, torpedoing your future because the costs of long term care are astronomical.

Good luck.

[ua_guy]

I don't think it's wrong to help aging parents, but be careful what you sacrifice. Look at the alternatives including bringing them into your home, or hiring help to give them assistance in their home. Or, without draining your own assets, seeing if they qualify for subsidy/assistance for assisted living or an adult family home where they can get some basic care and daily supervision. There's a lot of options.

[Fishindude77]

This may sound cold, but my answer would be a resounding NO.
Do not tap your retirement for anything but your own retirement or you are likely to be in their same shoes sometime later in life, forcing your children to make difficult financial decisions.

[Staceyy]

Sorry duplicate post.

[Staceyy]

Will you inherit anything? Will you have enough for your own retirement? Can you have someone come into their home to assist? This is a lot cheaper, and many insurance plans will pay for this.

[richard johnson]

I think, you should help your ageing parents.

[Drake3287]

I think the blanket statement that you should help your parents is wrong. While helping your parents is of course the right thing to do, it's just as important to look after yourself and your family. In answering your question I think we would need a better idea of both your financial situation and your parents.

[amarowsky]

You can borrow for their care, but you can't burrow for retirement savings.