I need help wtih appropriate and reasonable holiday tips.

[Nika]

Need to tip:

Building staff.
Super
Assistant Super
4 dormen
2 porters
8 people in total. If I tipped $50 each, that is $400. But super and assistant supper command bigger tips, so I suppose I have to give $100, bringing building staff to $600.
Ouch. It especially bugs me since I don't have interaction or ever asked porters or supers for anything all year. And when I did ask something long ago, I tip at that time as well.
How much would you guys recommend?
And one of the 4 doorman I don't even like. (Can't not tip him though, not how it works).

Than, 2 daycare teachers (LO almost never goes, but we keep the spot) and he may come for maybe 3 days a months. and 2 of their assistants and person that cleans up after meals in daycare.
How much?

DH's Grand Grand mother's home attendant. -- She looks after LO when he is at grandmas house when DH is on travel. She actually cares about baby and tries to take care of him the best she can. How much?

"The giving tree" thing worked out terribly. I found out that you could give gift cards, but at that time DH was no longer going to the office until the end of the year, so we asked a co-worker to buy a $75 visa gift card and give it to the program coordinator. The guy was unable to find Visa gift card (WTF? they are everywhere!) and bought a $75 itunes card instead. REALLY? that is a gift for an underprivileged girl under child services care, who does not even have an ipod.... I am frustrated. I will have to buy another gift card and give ipod now, and the whole thing will cost twice as much as I counted on.

So I don't know... All of this tipping is so freaking out of control. I'll be out $1,000 in tips and I have not even bought any gifts for the family yet.

Any advice?

[Like2Plan]

I don't have any first hand experience with tips for Building staff, but I recently ran across a poll when I was trying to look for a Broadway show
Holiday tipping for NY Residents-How much TOTAL did you give your building employees in 2012 holiday tips?

[creditcardfree]

Ask for the iTunes gift card back, when your husband goes in person to give an appropriate gift. Don't fall for the victim mentality of needing to spend more because someone made a different choice than you. It can be solved. You can give the iTunes card to a family member, keep for yourself, or sell it on ebay for nearly the full price.

[phantom]

Giving $50 to each of the building staff sounds excessive to me. My point of reference is my sister, who works in an apartment complex as a cleaning person. In addition to cleaning, she also does things like carry packages to people's rooms, so she has more interaction with residents than you might expect of a cleaning person. Most of the residents are retired, and I believe that rent is in the $1000-1800/month range. Only about half of the residents give my sister holiday tips, and those who do, tend to give $5-10. Some will give as much as $25, but few give much more than that, which is why $50 sounds really high to me. So, either the culture is really different in the place you're talking about or your numbers high.

In my opinion, you should never feel obligated to give a tip. If tipping is bothering you, I would either not tip at all or tip a lot less. Giving should make you feel good. When it doesn't, something's wrong. You don't really explain why you have to give equal amounts to people who have given you unequal levels of service. If at all possible, I would find a way around it. For example, I might give $5 to all the doormen, then give the doormen you really like an extra tip sometime during the holiday season.

As for the daycare people, I wouldn't give them anything unless you really like them and they've done something special that you really want to reward. (I'm not hearing that they have from your post.) I don't see a reason to give something extra to people whose service you've already paid for and don't actually use all that often.

The home assistant is the one person that you've mentioned that I would definitely tip and tip nicely. It sounds like she has gone above and beyond for you and like you really like her. I'd cut back on the rest of the giving and give her a generous amount that you know will bring a big smile to her face.

[SavingSweetOneL]

Hi Phantom,

A couple of things.

Can you give resturant gift cards to the building staff?

I have never had building staff to tip.

Last year a family member gave such for $25 dollars to all the staff at the residential place I work. It was unexpected, and when I went to the resturant, I got to treat a friend, and we both got $10 dollars each in unexpected coupon cards for dinning there that day. That was totally unexpected and fun.

If the person doesn't like the resturant card..they can always regift it.

As for the caregiver who helps your relative and cares for your child, if she is privately employed by your family, it would be called a bonus, and not a tip. A CPA can help you figure out the bonus. If hired by an agency, used by your family, then the agency should provide the bonus. You can provide a small simple gift of $10-25 dollars. In the caregiving business, tips are not expected. And, many agencies and companies do not allow them, as it complicates the caregiver and client roles and relationship. (Client might forget they gave $10 dollars to the caregiver as a tip, and the caregiver is then accused of stealing.)

As for the child care center...my mother always had me bring in a calendar, to gift to my teachers, so again a simple store or resturant card would suffice.

Just some of my thoughts on this issue.

SweetOneL

PS I'm sorry the "gifting tree" situation didn't work out so well. It is good the agency does accept gift cards.