Is this too crazy or just crazy enough?

**disneysteve** · 03-24-2010, 12:49 PM

Wouldn't your preschool cost drop if he only goes until 12:30 instead of until 5:30?

If your income is going to drop in half, you need to slash your expenses accordingly. You can't keep living a $3,800 lifestyle on a $2,900 income - at least not for very long.

Sure, your idea will work temporarily but that doesn't make it a good idea.

**wincrasher** · 03-24-2010, 12:53 PM

I think doing that is a huge mistake. You'd be better off hiring in-home childcare and keep working full time and developing your career.

Also, cutting your income so drastically is also impacting what you can potentially save for your child's future as well as your's.

You also are not accounting for what you would loose in benefits if you go part time. Do you give up health insurance? Vacation pay? Sick days? How do you know you will get enough hours?

**Radiance** · 03-24-2010, 01:06 PM

ok, so far you are not giving me anything I can use....

Wouldn't your preschool cost drop if he only goes until 12:30 instead of until 5:30?

Yes, but not significantly.

I think doing that is a huge mistake. You'd be better off hiring in-home childcare and keep working full time and developing your career.

In-home child care is not any better than preschool at least to me.

If your income is going to drop in half, you need to slash your expenses accordingly. You can't keep living a $3,800 lifestyle on a $2,900 income - at least not for very long.

Also, cutting your income so drastically is also impacting what you can potentially save for your child's future as well as your's.

I do plan to come up with ways to make money from other sources I think this will be key... so eventually I will bring home more money. So I am not risking our long term well being.

You also are not accounting for what you would loose in benefits if you go part time. Do you give up health insurance? Vacation pay? Sick days? How do you know you will get enough hours?

As per the hours, it is 4 hours a day, but no paid days off. As I said I am accounting for that

**disneysteve** · 03-24-2010, 01:10 PM

Originally posted by Radiance View Post

During that year I plan to come up with a way to make $900 or more on the side.

You don't need to make $900 on the side. That would only have you breaking even. You'd still be $2,000 behind. What about savings for the future? What about replenishing that $16,000 that you'll burn through? IF you could say that situation would last for a year and then you'd be back to full employment and your usual salary, it wouldn't be quite as bad though you'd still lose nearly 2 years of your saving time which can never be replaced.

**Radiance** · 03-24-2010, 01:13 PM

you'd still lose nearly 2 years of your saving time which can never be replaced

True, but the other way around I would lose 2 years of my son which can never be replaced. they say the early years are so important, he will only be this young once.

**Radiance** · 03-24-2010, 01:15 PM

ok, so what if I somehow come up with 1500 on the side on a job I can do while I am with him....

I am coming half way between th 900 and the 2000.
So, I have 10 months to find such a job... how about that?

**wincrasher** · 03-24-2010, 01:28 PM

Self-employment may be the best option for you, but doesn't really guarantee you'll get more time with your kid. You'd be in the same building together, but that really isn't what you are trying to do.

Here's a radical, old-fashioned idea. Put some effort into finding a husband that can provide for you and be a father figure for your child. Then you could cut back your working and be OK. I'll probably get alot of hate-filled flames for saying that, but it is worth considering regardless of weather you work full time or not.

**Radiance** · 03-24-2010, 01:33 PM

lol!
nope, I enjoy my financial independance from men, I am not giving it up.
If that happens, cool, but I am always keeping a plan B in case things dont work out. No hated-filled flames from me. I am asking for out-of-the-box ideas, keep them coming. That one, however will not work for me.

Creative moms out there, any ideas? So far I am going with my crazy plan even if for a year...going once, going twice....

**Radiance** · 03-24-2010, 01:46 PM

I just called the school, it goes down $100 if I pick him up before 1:00 PM
So I am down to $3700/mo... it helps, in a year that is 1200 less in expenses.

It seems I can even volunteer at the school and they pay me, but I suspect it will not be much, for that I would need to inquiry in person.

**MonkeyMama** · 03-24-2010, 01:50 PM

So, are you saying that this is a temporary 2-year thing? How many years are you looking at?

Personally, I wouldn't do it. I could probably support my family part-time, but the lack of vacation pay, and moreso, lack of sick pay, is the deal breaker for me. One illness could be quite financially devastating. I couldn't do that as sole supporter of my child. (It probably doesn't help that I worked part-time for a few months when I had my second child, and got sick, and had a rough time of it there. & that was with a spouse looking for a job).

I'd also be concerned about the long-term prospects of switching to part-time. How easy would it be to switch back to full-time, later? How likely is it that you will get the hours you want in the interim, etc., etc.

I think for the short term of a couple of years, it's probably not a big deal. BUT, as a sole provider for your child, I am not sure it is really worth the risk. Will your child care if you were home all this time, if you face financial difficulties for the rest of their childhood? I'd argue that it just isn't that important. A parent home is GREAT, but not if it comes at bigger sacrifices. Then it isn't so great. The child won't even remember. Maybe it's more important to work out a stronger financial plan for when your child is older.

I was JUST having a discussion with friends this weekend - many who decided to stay home with older kids, and one who has stayed home with her older kids and her second round of kids (Kinder/preschool age, now). Their teenaged kids had all been in daycare as babies/children. They all said it was more important to them, to be home more when they were older. Food for thought.

**Radiance** · 03-24-2010, 01:57 PM

I'd also be concerned about the long-term prospects of switching to part-time. How easy would it be to switch back to full-time, later? How likely is it that you will get the hours you want in the interim, etc., etc.

This one is covered, my employer has a history of witching moms back and forth no problem, Actually you work hourly and they want you to put as many hours as you can. I am blessed that we are overloaded with work and it is a set of rare skills.

The rest as valid considerations, I want to do it even if for a year. And I will spend these 10 months looking for stable ways to generate other incomes.

While he might not remember it is argued it has a deep impact on their formation... Will be doing some praying and tapping on my inner wisdom...

I am still doing something, even if it is make arrangements to pick him up earlier if not at noon, then at 2, 3 max

**am_vanquish** · 03-24-2010, 03:22 PM

There's a new mom in our office who has a neat work schedule: She wanted to spend more time at home but couldn't afford to cut her salary in half, so she went to 80% (one day off each week). To add another day with her kid, she also works from home one day a week. So she gets 2 weekdays with her kid (one paid, one unpaid) and 2 weekend days with her kid.

Not sure if this is possible depending on what line of work you're in or how flexible your employer is. Maybe you could convince them to let you work like this.

**cptacek** · 03-24-2010, 03:22 PM

Is your job such that you could do it at home via telecommuting?

ha! am_vanquish, you read my mind!

**snshijuptr** · 03-24-2010, 04:16 PM

Originally posted by Radiance View Post

True, but the other way around I would lose 2 years of my son which can never be replaced. they say the early years are so important, he will only be this young once.

Okay I really must respond because as an early development researcher I am one of the "They" you are citing.

First off, good research does NOT show that having your mother around more helps children grow. In fact, what does help them is a stable, loving environment. This means if you go broke and his life changes drastically on a day to day basis, you will be hurting your child's development! On the otherhand if you have your child in a horrible preschool that is more like a child holding pen (like many crappy daycare centers are for low income mothers) then you might be better off keeping him home with you.

Second, the idea that the "early years are so important" is actually highly debated. This idea is based off horribly neglected children like Genie. She was chained in her bedroom until age 13 and only barked at! This is not the position of your son at daycare!

So how can you help your son?

1) Keep a stable life for him. Don't sleep in shelters. Don't beg for food. Don't put yourself in a stressful situation.

2) Talk to him like middle class white people do. Okay I know I know that sounds horrible, but that's the facts of life. Ask him questions at the dinner table about his day. Ask him to "help" you do math in the grocery store. Increase your own vocabulary and use "big" words in front of him. Use academic vocabulary like globe, museum, and other rarely used words in the home.

3) Care about his education. Keep yourself informed about what he is doing in school. Sign him up for extra tutoring if he needs it. Find out if your state allows him to transfer to a better school. Ask him about his day and check to see if the teacher sent home any forms or letters.

4) Increase your SES (socio-economic status). You know why kids of single mothers have a hard time? Because women earn less and disenfranchised populations (read: poor and minorities) are more likely to have single mothers. Poor kids do worse in school because their situations are unstable (see #1). AVOID CHAOS!!

Okay I think I've ranted enough. Basically the best thing you can do for your son is to reduce the chaos in his life. Learning everything there is to know about the world is stressful on their little brains. The best thing we can do is to reduce the stress they are going through.

Is this too crazy or just crazy enough?