Am I the only one?

[cicy33]

Well, I feel a little better! I am 40 by the way and an thrilled grandma of a beautiful 8 month old granddaughter! I don't have any investments other than 401K and currently I do about 4%. That is just all I can do for now. It is a two income family. And actually compared to some of my friends we make pretty good money. We live in a fairly economically depressed area. I am trying very hard to get ahead and will try to read some of the blogs more. But is nice to hear from the ones that are struggling! sometimes it is nice to hear from them.

[Snave]

Well, I feel a little better! I am 40 by the way and an thrilled grandma of a beautiful 8 month old granddaughter! I don't have any investments other than 401K and currently I do about 4%. That is just all I can do for now. It is a two income family. And actually compared to some of my friends we make pretty good money. We live in a fairly economically depressed area. I am trying very hard to get ahead and will try to read some of the blogs more. But is nice to hear from the ones that are struggling! sometimes it is nice to hear from them.

Good for you and for anyone that is on here trying to save money and help their financial sitiuation. Most people aren't even trying that are out there. I feel very fortunate that we do have our finances in order. I started out with no student loans out of college, so that helped. For some reason I maxed out my 401k at 22 years old and never looked back. I think that is why I have gotten ahead. Certainly it is never too late to start, but for anyone just entering the workforce, please max it out. You will never know it was there. Heck, I was broke one day and the next I was making a salary minus 15% for my 401k. I never felt it b/c didn't see it from day one.

[LuxLiving]

cicy33, we too struggled for a long time and at times it can still be difficult w/just a single steady income earner in our home. A couple of things that've helped build momentum is making a spending plan w/savings taken right off the top right after the tithe. Then pay bills, then any extra is the fun money. Of course that is just priorities.

Secondly, one place I'd advise younger people to cover with EXTREME caution, is to really limit the car purchases to what you can truly afford. Which may not be what you'd actually like to be driving. We upgraded way too often. Yes my Hubster is a good trader, but too many of those tags and excise taxes, etc., really took a bite out of our income. He also liked to upgrade on the computer systems. Any of those things I'd advise to wait as long as possible to make them - stretching out the time you use them before you upgrade and/or saving after the purchase to do the replacement. Then if cars must be financed doing the shortest possible time-line and then putting a big emphasis on getting it paid off early. Any credit you are carrying is literally a weight that you need to stop giving a free ride as it can really pull you down.

Thirdly anticipating expenses and putting them into the spending plan/budget and funding them BEFORE the proverbial hitting of the fan can be the turning point for you.

Keep hanging tough and you'll get to the top of that mountain! One step at a time w/FOCUSED determination will do it.

edited to add:

"From eureka to achievement, the evolution of a goal begins in the mind
and immediately takes shape when pen is put to paper. The goal progresses
from thought to sketch, from sketch to action, and finally from action to
achievement in real time. The achievement of a goal is an exemplary tale of
power, purpose, and potential." ~~???

[Broken Arrow]

I do the best I can, I'm making progress, but many challenges still remain, just to stay above water....

It's a good fight to be in.

[maat55]

I am sure that I am just seeing the ones that are set financially, but I have been coming to this site awhile now and I post here and there. I won't say I post as much as some but I post more than others. However, I feel sort of like the poor cousin. We do not have anywhere nears the EF most people on this board seem to have, nor do we have the available cash some seem to have. Is it just me or are there many, many more on here that are getting by but not getting ahead as quickly as I would like. We are not rich by any means and by that I mean we together average about $50k a year, our house is not paid for, we have a couple of small loans and the average regular bills are a killer sometimes! I am aware I could cut a couple of areas to have more cash but then I would be totally miserable!

I think your mentallity towards sacrifice is your downfall. I like you, are not set, but it's the only thing that I am striving for at this time. I am recently debtfree and have saved a 10,000 EF and am starting to invest 9700 a year. This all has taken sacrifice, but I don't feel like I have missed anything.

My mentallity, while living paycheck to paycheck, was to pay the bills and play golf alot. Now, my priorities are to be debtfree, have an 10,000 EF, invest 9700 a year, then play with the rest. I have achieved these goals rather quickly, because I am focused on it.

You begin to thrive on the accomplishments and the sacrifice seems smaller with time.

I suggest you make a plan to achieve the goals you want to achieve, then do it. It won't hurt nearly as bad as you think. Financial peace is worth it. Good luck.

[Scanner]

I agree with JimOhio that it's so relative.

I am a doctor, as is DS, and we both feel probably an "akin" psychology on this issue. He's remarked how he shops at flea markets. Part of this I'm sure is just hobby. . .but part of it is probably out of a little necessity. I am 39, have about $85,000 in our Roth's, only $2500 in DW's 403(b), and she's 10 years vested in a pension. WE have good health care and thank God for that. She provides that as an employee as I am self-employed.

We also have 240K in equity in a 360K home.

But compared to my "forefathers", we live like middle/middle class. People in my profession used to have mansions and Mercedes by the time they were 39. . .until abuses of the ins. system the docs did were brought to a grinding halt.

Now, our generation pays for it.

So. . .sometimes "success" is just an illusion. My forefathers weren't really successful. . .(a lot of them, that is), they were just in an incredibly easy system - a "cash cow" or "cottage industry" as they put it.

Yet. . .if you tell them what you make, and it isn't that much per year, they look at you as if, "Well, what's wrong with you? I made $750,000/year. . .you must be a bad doctor."

So. . .that's the stigma. We call the docs from this era "Mercedez 80's Docs."

Sad fact is that many patients are still thinking that docs are in the Mercedez 80's.

So. . .we all have our Jonzez we try to keep up with and it's potent on our thinking but don't feel bad about your situation. Chances are you aren't as bad off as you think anyway.

Just remember what you stand for.

[Maddy]

You are not alone - AT ALL!!

I went to college and started a good starting Salary >$40,000, but I am still broke and just making ends meet. I even work a part-time bartending job.
College Killed me

[ScrimpAndSave]

No I feel like this is a very long, difficult struggle as well...

[cicy33]

I don't feel that my unwillingness to needlessly suffer is my downfall. I don't have to turn off the cable and internet to pay my bills but I could and it would pay off stuff a little faster. However, not going to do it cuz that is my entertainment. I don't go to the movies, I hate shopping (except for groceries), I hardly ever buy new clothes. I mean like once every two or three years. So, we have the net and cable. I think the difference is that I am willing to do it a little slower than some people. Not that turning off mediacom is going to be the trick to paying everything off. Our other bills are pretty much requirement with the exception of the loans and those I am working on. Our mortgage isn't bad, but these da*& taxes are getting bad. Our property taxes are $1600 now. That is more than $100 per month! I don't live in a mansion! Our average pay rate here is minimum wage. and my gas cost is doubled in the past months.

[maat55]

I don't feel that my unwillingness to needlessly suffer is my downfall. I don't have to turn off the cable and internet to pay my bills but I could and it would pay off stuff a little faster. However, not going to do it cuz that is my entertainment. I don't go to the movies, I hate shopping (except for groceries), I hardly ever buy new clothes. I mean like once every two or three years. So, we have the net and cable. I think the difference is that I am willing to do it a little slower than some people. Not that turning off mediacom is going to be the trick to paying everything off. Our other bills are pretty much requirement with the exception of the loans and those I am working on. Our mortgage isn't bad, but these da*& taxes are getting bad. Our property taxes are $1600 now. That is more than $100 per month! I don't live in a mansion! Our average pay rate here is minimum wage. and my gas cost is doubled in the past months.

Just because you are not blowing money, doesn't mean you are in the right position to prosper. I can afford more house, but I would sacrifice prosperity. I could prosper faster in a smaller home, but my wife like you, chooses to live for today, rather than to prosper faster.

We all want ot live comfortable lives and prosper, but sometimes you have to sacrifice much, to gain much more. When you get to the point that getting by isn't enough, you will choose to sacrifice, to really get a head and love it. The true blessing comes when both partners are dedicated to the process.

The most important test as to whether you will prosper is: Can you afford to invest at least 10% of your income no matter what. If not, you need to downsize your living expenses to make it happen. Being frugal with the other 90% is a bonus.

[cicy33]

This post wasn't really about me sacrificing to become rich super fast. This was just about wondering if we were the only ones that were struggling or at least not as financially set as some we read about on here. I am more than well aware of what it would take to prosper as you put it. I also don't think I am living for today. I have a 401k, I put money every month into a savings account. I shop frugally. I just don't want to be completely miserable. Of course you should think and realize that not everyone (possibly your wife included) has the desire to "prosper" in the way you do. I personally just want to be able to pay my bills, put a little money away and still be able to buy myself something if I want to. I really don't aspire to be wealthy. Sure it would be great but I am not focusing on that. I am sure that it brings its own set of problems. I just want to be comfortable.

[crazyliblady]

Re: Am I the Only One?

No, you are not the only one. My husband and I have barely anything in savings, have 2 hospital bills, and 1 credit card bill. One of the hospital bills and the credit card bill could have been mostly avoided if my hubby would have let me put him on my insurance. When he had a major health crisis 2 years ago, I had to drive him 3 hours to the nearest veteran's hospital for care. It took about 7 different trips there to get everything worked out. Because he had the year before convinced me to sell our perfectly good working Honda for a 1968 Mustang, we could not make the trip in our own car. Our Mustang was in a constant state of being worked on and got lousy gas mileage. So, you could say we have had some challenges and he does acknowledge what a mistake it was to sell our Honda. I have started taking greater responsibility for the finances. For example, I did start my retirement about 2 years ago through my work and a have a decent amount in it for it only being 2 years. I also recently opened up an online savings account that earns a higher rate than any local bank. Another reason I did this was to accumulate the $1000 that Dave Ramsey recommends prior to seriously tackling debt. I was having a lot of trouble doing this in my local bank because little "emergencies" that aren't really emergencies pop up and I have to transfer funds. I have a feeling if we keep plugging away at our debt, it will be paid off and we will have financial freedom after all. Don't feel alone here. There are plenty of people to support you and we have been through the same types of things. I will put you on my favorites list so I can read your blog.

[Big Kenny]

"We all make up a rare breed!"

Persistence. Patience. Passion. I've read this thread and thought, "Well...I've been down this road." I just wanted to offer my support for all of you. Obviously, you're well ahead because you're THINKING and TRYING. You have to take the first step to complete any journey. My wife and I married 15 years ago (we're now in our late 40's) and had virtually no savings, some CC debt and modest incomes then. We each owned smallish homes and had very little savings in either tax sheltered or taxable accounts. When married we consolidated our finances, sold her home, fought our way out of CC debt and began to build - slowly - our EF.

Now, what seems like "fast-forward" to 15 years later. We have paid off our home (bought for $135,000 in 1992), almost quadrupled our incomes through a couple key job changes and pay increases; maxed out our 401K savings (EACH OF US) and paid for any home improvement or automobile when we have the cash...and we keep our cars for at least 6 years. We just keep reminding ourselves that we're the "little engine that could"...we think we can, we think we can...then we use discipline and delayed gratification to attain our goals.

This is much like a weight loss program. Keep your eye on the prize and know that there WILL be set backs along the way...but you can and will achieve your goals. Write them down...measure your progress...and chart your success. Good luck to all who have hunkered down and have shown the resolve to achieve their dreams. The effort is worth it and the payoff is incredible.

[Saving in So Cal]

My husband and I are little bit further along the path than you are, but there are plenty of days when we fill like we're just treading water. In fact, it is not unusual for us to go long periods without making any significant progress toward our financial objectives and then something will happen that moves us along more quickly. Then, we slow down again, etc.

[maat55]

This post wasn't really about me sacrificing to become rich super fast. This was just about wondering if we were the only ones that were struggling or at least not as financially set as some we read about on here. I am more than well aware of what it would take to prosper as you put it. I also don't think I am living for today. I have a 401k, I put money every month into a savings account. I shop frugally. I just don't want to be completely miserable. Of course you should think and realize that not everyone (possibly your wife included) has the desire to "prosper" in the way you do. I personally just want to be able to pay my bills, put a little money away and still be able to buy myself something if I want to. I really don't aspire to be wealthy. Sure it would be great but I am not focusing on that. I am sure that it brings its own set of problems. I just want to be comfortable.

I'm not here to bash you, but to egg you on. When I say sacrifice, to me it means trade. Example: I traded my golf membership for financial peace and so on. I enjoy reading books to learn and not spending money to save. I've spent only 7.00 dollars the last two weeks on books and have enjoyed many hours of reading.

Living the lifestyle my wife is comfortable with has left us very far behind on saving for the future. She is the typical, not on board spouse. I've found that blowing money at resteraunts and on petty stuff is not as satisfying as being debtfree with money in the bank.

I'm giving you advice that I have experienced. If you are tired of getting by, do something about it, I did and it doesn't hurt like you might think. But I can't speak for my wife.