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  • #1

    Moral dilemma

    There is a local church in my "home" neighborhood. I am currently in Dubai. The home is in Texas.

    I had a friend who was down on his luck. I helped him update his skills and get back into the field of his training. He did well in the job and he was getting his life back together. He has just found out that he has stage 4 brain cancer.

    I had asked a local church to help him out financially to get resettled to do his new job, as I had already extended about $4000 his way over several months. I also chipped in about $500 to help him get resettled once he had found the job.

    My question is: Should I repay the church's fund, and ask them to tell him some unnamed church member paid it, or should I let him continue to repay according to their schedule, or should I just stay out of it?

    What would you do?

    Wino
    Tags: None
  • #2
    I am confused. Is it a loan from the church? If you want to give the church money to replenish their funds, your friend wouldn't have to know about it... Unless it was a loan and he was supposed to pay it back. If that's the case, and I had the means to help him, I would. And stay anonymous. It's more of a reward for yourself.

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    • #3
      I am confused too. Where did the $4500 come from? You or the church? Did the church contribute anything?
      Brian

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      • #4
        It sounds like you've already given him $4,500, which is extremely generous on your part. If you truly have the means to help him more and wish to do so but remain anonymous, you could funnel the money through the church (which also makes it tax deductible for you where giving it to him directly is not). If you don't have the money to do so, I don't think there is any dilemma at all. Let the church help to the extent they are able to help.
        Steve

        * Despite the high cost of living, it remains very popular.
        * Why should I pay for my daughter's education when she already knows everything?
        * There are no shortcuts to anywhere worth going.

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        • #5
          I helped him out for about 6 months, paying his bills, keeping him fed, etc. I also gave him $500 cash to help him relocate to the new job.

          The church gave him additional cash when he relocated to help him make it through a year or so without being 100% reliant on his new income. He got a gift from the church with the hope that he'd repay it, and maybe a little more, but no obligation. The church gave it to him on my recommendation that he was honest and only needed help to get back on his feet. This was being proven out, until his diagnosis.

          So, there's quite a bit more than $4500 involved here. I have written and not sent an email to the church several times offering to pay his "bill," but have not yet sent it. That's my dilemma. Do I owe anything back to the church? Not really, but I think he's still "paying them back," and he can certainly use that money more than I can right now.

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          • #6
            Originally posted by Wino View Post
            He got a gift from the church with the hope that he'd repay it, and maybe a little more, but no obligation.

            I have written and not sent an email to the church several times offering to pay his "bill,"
            He doesn't have a bill from the church. They gave him charity. That's what churches do. Sure, any time my temple helps out a congregant, we hope that once they get back on their feet, they'll remember that kindness and donate back as their situation allows, but it is never an expectation or else it wouldn't be charity.

            His situation has gotten even worse with the cancer diagnosis. I see no reason why you should feel the need to "repay" the church for the charity they gave. He was legitimately in need. You didn't give any false information.

            Still, if you have the means and desire, I'm sure your donation would be greatly appreciated.
            Steve

            * Despite the high cost of living, it remains very popular.
            * Why should I pay for my daughter's education when she already knows everything?
            * There are no shortcuts to anywhere worth going.

            Comment

            • #7
              I agree with Steve. While giving a donation would be a nice gesture and appreciated it is not necessary or probably even expected.
              Brian

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              • #8
                I see no reason why you should feel the need to "repay" the church for the charity they gave. He was legitimately in need. You didn't give any false information.
                OK... I think this convinced me.

                Thanks for the opinions!

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                • #9
                  Amazing charity work

                  That is really generous on your part to give that amount of money...I don't think church should let you repay for that act, because we know that Churches are meant to help and provide charity.

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