Do you ever lie and tell your kids, "We can't afford it?"

[WEL]

It seems like an easy way to quiet them down. However, I don't want to give my kids the misconception that we're poor. We're not poor, we're just frugal. What do you tell your kids when they want something but you just don't feel it's worth the price?

[riverwed070707]

Sometimes she gets a short answer, but I try to avoid saying we can't afford things and instead regularly have open conversations with DD about how choosing to skip the small things allows us to be able to do bigger things. We talk about choices and priorities and how maybe we're not going to do x today but next week we're planning y and try to give her something positive to look forward to in place of what she's asking for. She's 6 if that's relevant

[marvholly]

How about saying: that is not how we want to spend our money rather than we cannot afford it. Points out choices need to be made.

Is the child old enough to be getting an allowance and/or paid to extra chores. If yes you might want to suggest they save up for it and maybe even offer to match their savings to a point if you are comfortable with that.

[MonkeyMama]

My kids have an allowance and if they want something they can buy it. This eliminates any "no"s. If they want us as a family to buy something really expensive we discuss why we do not. (In our household, allowance is a learning tool until they are old enough to earn their own money. At 10 & 12 we are almost done with allowances, and it's only $2 per week).

I think this discussion has come up more than average for us, admittedly maybe because we have thought this through so much and want our kids to have strong money skills by the time they get their first jobs. But also because we made a huge move to a lower cost region, so it has come up as to why we don't live closer to family and why can't we live closer to cousins and Grandparents. When I point out everything we would have to sacrifice to do so, they stop asking. They get it, and that is from a very young age. "If you want daddy to have a full-time job too, and to live in a small apartment, then sure, let's all talk about this." But they've never had any illusion that is actually what they want, once we break it down like that. I am sure we explain every financial decision they ask about in that matter. Which is probably why they seem to have more financial sense than most adults I meet. They have a pretty deep understanding of financial trade-offs, and how to stretch a dollar. It's hard for me to think of a time I have ever said no to my kids about spending money. If they want something they wait for it to come down in price, buy used, etc. & if they want to make stupid mistakes with their money I think they should make those mistakes when they are kids and don't have so much to lose. I've let them make those mistakes, for sure.